May 28th.2:45AM

I have this chill in my bones and this feeling in my heart..
I’m shaking in my boots and I can’t seem to catch my breath..
Time and time again I wonder what will happen? Who will be significant and why it will happen?
All I seek is peace yet seldom achieve this wander because my search isn’t genuine …apparently my longing for a greater connection to GOD lacks sincerity and altruism…but why?
Because I seem to fear nothing..through repetitive trials and tribulations I’ve always managed to come out on top and yes I acknowledge GOD and I know that it happens only through His grace..so again where’s the problem?
Seems I only call on His name on Sundays and sticky situations..what good am I then? It’s as if I fail to realize that I’m a great catch and just like a person may want me Satan wants me more..he makes it so easy to slip, to stray, and have an absent mind. Yet and still GOD blesses me. I fear what life has in store for me simply because I’ve come to the realization that I’ve let spirituality fade in my life and I’m a strong believer in karma (ironic?). While he’s blessing me I know that He has His permissive will and in turn I need to get my life together..because it is all but a fairytale. Graduation is rapidly approaching and all I can wonder is what’s in store..while I’m “trained” to think that GOD will work it out I have to make a move and rely on Him with sincerity in my heart and not out of routine..my thoughts tonight are step one of my spiritual journey of redemption…He’s been too clutch to not appreciate and celebrate His whole being so I begin in this blog..his power is greater than mine and at the end of it all..He is the definition of love, compassion, and forgiveness and before I even wrote this He forgave me..now I must forgive myself for allowing myself to reach this point and move forward in His image…

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